Since my last post I've had a lot of time to think about some things. I feel pulled in many directions. I have many people I turn to for advice about Islam. I trust them all for different things and for different reasons. I know that at times some of my brothers and sisters in Islam don't agree with me, but I have to find my own way sometimes.
Allah swt said:
And of mankind, there are some (hypocrites) who say: "We believe in Allah and the Last Day" while in fact they believe not. They (think to) deceive Allah and those who believe, while they only deceive themselves, and perceive (it) not! In their hearts is a disease (of doubt and hypocrisy) and Allah has increased their disease. A painful torment is theirs because they used to tell lies. And when it is said to them: "Make not mischief on the earth," they say: "We are only peacemakers." Verily! They are the ones who make mischief, but they perceive not. {Al-Baqara ayat 8-12}
These ayats were explained to me in my Tafsir class at the masjid. This class is taught by someone I truly respect. She told us that these Ayats refer to people who are trying to change Islam, to mold it to their ways, and to make it more 'acceptable' to the modern world. It can be as simple as saying that its ok to congratulate non muslims on their holidays, or as complex as saying that suicide bombing is ok if you are a Palestinian.
In my previous post I also talked about the Unity Pledge. I don't think its a bad thing as a whole. It actually does make some good points. I just felt that the following parts were insulting to the 'average Muslim':
The average Muslim is only responsible for knowing the basics of creed as they relate to a simple belief in Allah, His Angels, Scriptures, the Prophets and Messengers, the Last Day, and the Divine Decree.
detailed discussions in matters of theology are the specific domain of trained specialists, and proceed on the basis of well-defined principles and methodologies, which are beyond the knowledge of the generality of Muslims.
I could have it all wrong, but to me this is saying that we have to turn to scholars for knowledge beyond the basics, and that we should not try to learn and study on our own.
I also said a few things about forums. I have had time to cool off and try again. The same frustrations will always be there, but I can try my best to make a difference and give good dawah. I left this last time not because of what non muslims said, but beacuse of what muslims said. But I've got to be strong and do my best not to let it bother me.
I'm going to start taking a class soon at shariaacademy.com. Inshallah I can learn some new things and really start a journey to knowledge and understanding. Meanwhile, I'm just going to keep trying to be the best Muslimah I can be. I was created to worship Allah. And I will do my best to do that - the right way, the way Allah wants me to.
