Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Weekend in Vermont

I had some time, so I went to visit my mom again. It was raining so much in Vermont that all of the crops are dying... my mothers garden was a flood and she was not too happy about it. All of the corn fields were flooded as well, except for this one just across the dirt road from my mothers house. The corn was 8 feet high and beautiful. Now granted this is not a great picture. Stupid me brought my camera but forgot the battery, so this is from my mobile phone camera.

I love it in Vermont, its very peaceful and quiet. Nature is all around you. I think I love it more because my mom is there. We have long talks about everything. We talked about my dad a lot again. How strange it is to come across something that we would like to share with him, and then remembering we can't. While at the library in town, mom found a book in the book sale on Malaysia. Dad was stationed there when he was in the RAF. She felt sad that she would not pay the $1.00 to get it for him because he would never read it.

One of the things that is hard for me with my dad is that my mother always says to me that he is in Heaven now. I don't say anything to her. I just stay silent. I don't know what to say. Thankfully she does not seem to notice my silence. When dad was dying I was in his intensive care room alone with him, just whispering La Illaha Illah Allah to him over and over again. He was so out of it, I have no idea if he heard me or understood me. I have never explained any of this to my mother. I don't want to upset her. I don't know how to tell her about our view of death and Judgment Day.

As I drove home in the rain I thought a lot about this. I ask Allah to guide my family to Islam everyday. I leave it with him.

3 comments:

ArvA said...

it really makes u sad when u know that u can be with ur muslim friends and muslim relatives again in the heaven ..but not with the others..i have a close friend.. her bro is an atheist.. she cried once that she wont be able to be with him in the hereafter..
but its really strange.. that most of the prophets had the same situation.. the son of prophet noah wasnt a believer..the wife of the prophet Lut wasnt a believer also.. and our prophet muhammed (pbuh).. his uncle abu talib died as a non believer too.. altho he actually knew that sayidna muhammed was a true prophet..
and they all felt the same sadness about it.
i think Allah means something with this..and theres an ayah about it as a consolation for believers.. i ll post it as soon as i find it..
may Allah guide ur family sis n give them hidayah.. ameen ameen ameen

Faaz said...

Salaam Sis jamilah

First I must say that I love your blog and from time to time I find my way here.
As for as thinking that your dad is not going to be in heaven is little presumptous as I dont know if I am going to be in heaven to tell you the truth. What we do know is Allah(swt) is most merciful, kind and generous, perhaps He found something that your dad did or say in his life that pleased Allah(swt) and He might decide to grant him Jannah. As He has done to countless others from an old lady who was kind to a dog to many others that we know of from various hadiths. Your friend above gave some examples of relatives of the prophets that will not see Jannah, we must understand that they were hardcore rejectionist and trouble makers for the prophets inspite of being there relatives, I dont know much about your dad, but knowing you I presume he was a kind hearted geniun person that I pray Allah(swt) bestows His mercy on him.

Faaz

Jamilah said...

Salam Faaz

Thanks for the kind words. Its a hard thing to explain and deal with as a revert. I can't make dua for him, so I just have to sort of 'keep it inside'...

My dad was a good man. He has his faults, like anyone else. I really didn't have much time after I reverted to really tell him about Islam, I tried a few times but it just didn't work.. I was too new.

Thanks for liking the blog, it my way of getting things out sometimes.