Friday, February 15, 2008

Feeling sad

I have been feeling so sad lately. Perhaps its because its coming up on a year since my father died. I find myself thinking about him a lot recently. My mother gave me his wedding band. Not his original one - actually he lost his original one while mowing the lawn! So my parents bought a new one (the one I have) and then a couple of years later they found the first one just laying there on the lawn! Anyway, I've been wearing it on my right hand.. and looking at it a lot and just feeling sad. I guess thats probably not the best idea.

I'm trying to take my learning about Islam very seriously. And part of that is a new role as moderator on a forum for reverts. Its exciting to be a part of it and I get to share my ideas and inshallah help other people learn and grow. It takes a bit of restraint, which I'm already having to practice. It seems that some people don't like some of the things we are doing on the forum, and I can only guess why. Anyway, I'm not going to let it get in the way of the big plans we have for the forum. We have implemented a 'Guided Quran Reading' group, and will start a book club next week where we read a book on Tawheed. Eventually we will also have a thread on salat for new reverts!

I am also taking a class on Aqeedah online, which so far has not been working out very well. Not because there is something wrong with the class, but because I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing! I need to get in touch with the professor and get caught up.

Finally I'm taking Arabic lessons with a very good brother. He is a wonderful teacher and friend to both my husband and I, and he takes time from his schedule to help us learn every week.

I've also come to find some new friends. Not new really but just closer to people I knew before. There are some sisters that stand by me and I appreciate and love them for that. Its been said you can't make true friends online but that is totally wrong in my case. I've got sisters from all over the country (and the one next to us too) that make a huge difference in my deen. I also have a wonderful group of sisters from the masjid that I have become very close with. I feel most comfortable when I am with my sisters. There is something to be said for having muslimahs as your close friends. You will never have to explain to them why you are not eating that, or why you are wearing this, or why you have to go pray now. We pray together, and share the same ideals.

I can't leave the brothers out either! I do admit, I have some friends online who are men. Bad bad bad, I know. But I learn from them, and they are respectful.

Anway, inshallah I will not be so sad, and the new friends and learning will keep me occupied.


Hannah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hannah said...

salaam sis

Inshallah your sadness will be replaced by hapiness definately have a full schedule but learning is such a great thing and I have so much to learn myself but the journey is so much worth it :)

Anonymous said...

As Salaamu Alaikum WaRamatullah

Don't be sad. I was taught that iman and knowledge are the only two pleasures of this dunya, and that anything else is nothingness.

You continue to increase your knowledge of this deen and ask Allah to increase your iman then you will not be sad, insha Allah.

We are not in this alone, but we must remember to choose our companions wisely.

A good or bad companion is like one who carries musk and one who blows the bellow. The one who carries musk may give you some, or you may buy some from him, or you may feel a fragrance from him; but the one who blows the bellows might burn your clothing, or you may feel a bad smell from him.
(Bukhari, Muslim).

We want to insha Allah surround ourselves with sisters that give us a good smell, that we can take something from, not ones that will burn us or give off a bad smell.