Now that it is Ramadan I can feel some peace in my heart. The last month or so has been hard. I got laid off from my job at the end of July. It was a shock, and it made me feel like I was a failure. I went from angry to sad in a few days and then just accepted it as the qadr of Allah subhannah wa ta'ala (which is what I should have done the second it happened). I spent the next few weeks after that applying for every job I could find on Careerbuilder.com. Nothing happened. No calls, no nothing.
Anyway within this time frame I also made a lot of stupid mistakes. I trusted people I should not have, and I put myself in harms way. As a Muslimiah I must remember that I need to contduct myself like that at all times. Before Islam I was everyone's mother. People told me their problems and I took them under my wing. I had great concern and care for them and tried to help them by being what they needed me to be. This still lingers with me now, and gets me in trouble. I've also felt very betrayed. I worked hard for things and gave a lot of time effort and care, only to have people turn their back on me when I needed them to be on my side. In any case, I've learned my lesson. I need to focus on what Allah subhannah wa ta'ala wants for me and keep away from things that cause fitnah.
I fully accept that I am not innocent in these issues. I have done stupid things in the past, and recently that have contributed to the problems. I can only ask Allah subhannah wa ta'ala to forgive and guide me.
Positive things have come of all of this. We did start a new Islamic Forum. Inshallah it is a sucess and helps others learn the true Islam. We are also working on an online bookstore, so stay tuned for that happy annoucnement, inshallah. Finally, I've been interviewing with the Islamic school at our Masjid for a teaching position. Inshallah that works out as well.
Ramadan Mubarak to everyone. May you and your family gain peace and tranquility during this blessed month.